A month has passed, and a little more, since we lost my mom to Alzheimer's Disease. I wondered how I would feel at this point. It all seemed so simple right when she passed. Her suffering was over, our family had our own life back as far as the amount of time we were spending in her care. But I'm finding that I miss her more now than I did when she first passed on.
The day before Easter, I realized that a tradition my own family had was for my father to buy Mother an Easter lily every year. After their divorce, I was the one to buy her a lily each Easter. It was hard to know I couldn't do that this year. Or could I? My dear husband went out Saturday evening and bought a beautiful potted Easter lily full of blooms for me to take to someone. I told him that I really wanted to do that, and he said fine. On Sunday morning we stopped by to visit a family friend who lives in a nursing home nearby. She was delighted with the flowers and I was thrilled to carry on our tradition in a new way.
Next year I want to give several lilies away in honor of my mother. It is a wonderful tradition that we can continue even though she is not here with us. Mom, I love you, Happy Easter!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
I didn't think it would happen to me because I am basically pretty settled about my Mom's death, but I am finding that out of the blue, I will suddenly start thinking about here and the tears come. I'm not much of a crier in general, so it is both unexpected and unusual. But I always feel better afterwards.